It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
