You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
