Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
