My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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