i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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