Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
