we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
