If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If I die, sorry about rent.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
