dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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