My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
