Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
