Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
