To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
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And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
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I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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