And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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