His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
