That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
