her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
