Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
