Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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