i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
