Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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