Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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