Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
