Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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