Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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