There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
