i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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