I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
