it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
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Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
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I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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