Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
They are going to name an STD after you.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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