dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
