i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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