so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The beer is more important than you right now.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
