If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
