Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Randomize
