dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
