I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
