when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Do you remember whose house we're in?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
