Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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