So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
