I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
