Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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