I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Never joke about your clitoris.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
