some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
