He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
