Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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