Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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