It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
