We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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