Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
