I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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