MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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