super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Randomize
