My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Oh god it's open bar.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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