Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
