And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
