I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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