That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize