I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
