i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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