i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
