I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
