Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
