i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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