I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I need to calm my uterus...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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