Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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