It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
