I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
be right there i have to get my cape
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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