new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
