I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
