Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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