Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
